This is going to be a super quick post because I have a shit load of work to do right now but have to let some steam loose.

It’s just that we spent such a great portion of our lives together and now that that’s over I feel empty, have no one to talk to and just don’t know what I’m even trying to do with my life right now.  Sorry for being so dramatic but I just don’t know what too without you. It’s been months but I still cry over you every few days and I’m absolutely positive that you never felt hurt or sad throughout this whole ordeal. The only pain you ever felt was for me because you didn’t want to hurt me.

 I just feel so fucking stupid. You tried to make it easy on me—you said you wanted to be best friends, I thought we would be lifelong friends; you said you had fun with me. But those times are over. We never speak in school, you never call me, and if I do you end the conversation in a few brief minutes, don’t answer at all, or barely say anything because you’re just playing your stupid video games. Typing this, I cringe. This is never who I wanted to become. Since when am I the stupid ex you’ve been trying to ditch but just let go of you?

 You really don’t care about me at all anymore. At this point I really just want to be friends. Really that’s all but you don’t even care. This is so sad but I don’t even blame you. I’m not interesting or funny or anything. I started this blog because I wanted to let out who I really was but I don’t have anything to let out besides depressing entries of my bleeding heart. And I feel like I don’t even have friends to rely on. My only friends are closer to you than myself and I just really can’t take listening to you guys laugh and joke and them wearing your jacket or putting their head on your shoulder.

I don’t even want to publish this but fuck this shit I just want to spill my guts even if I don’t like what’s coming out. Next time I WILL write about something different because i need to find something within myself besides you.