The past, present and future

One should let go of things that hurt them, right? If you grab a hot plate you immediately let go and send it flying without a second thought. But unfortunately life is just a little bit more complicated than that. What if that same thing that hurt you was also your sole source of happiness? The one thing that made you feel the most liberated, the most free and for once understood and accepted. That never made you hold back an ounce and for once made you throw back your head and laugh. Well folks, that just about hits home for me, maybe drive one street over or around that block a bit but it’s close enough.  What is one supposed to do when you’ve channeled every ounce of your being to carve out a small and modest path, gently winding around the curves of a sea shell? When you’ve planned to lazily drift down that path at his side with a soft smile permanently at home upon your lips. But then, the tide comes and slowly fills your path with shimmering sand, the water becomes a little murky yet you calmly begin spooning it out with cupped hands in an attempt to recover the only path you’d known.  But all to no avail for when your brow furrows with a rapid panic, the tide sweeps back your path with greater force and it becomes but a lost shell swept up in the muddy waters of a foamy whiteness.  You walk down that shore in search of some comfort, something familiar to find that the sea goes out for eternity and whatever path you had in mind is forever lost, like so many others under the waves. So now you’re left sitting in the wet sand wondering what you’ll ever do from here on out. And while there’s a friendly shadow smiling at your side, it’s only a shadow.

It may be a bit abstract, but that’s how I feel. The future I know we once both felt so sure of has drifted away and I honestly don’t know where to go from here. It’s all I ever planned and now imp left questioning what I even want anymore, since the only desire I had is simply unattainable. When I feel lost and lonely, you may be unsure of your direction, but at least you are content to follow wherever it leads you while I’m sitting here stubbornly cross-legged in the fork of the road because the only path I wanted has disappeared and I can’t bring myself to my feet and start to walk off in a new direction.